It sucks. There’s not much you can say about it really. To walk back into the place you call home and find that you’re life has been violated is a terrifying experience. No words can describe the emotions you feel when you walk around your home and see the mess that has been left and the sinking feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you realise what’s missing…laptops, cameras and jewellery. Things you take for granted and memories you can never replace. My laptop was my life. Materialistic of me I know but it contained my stories and photos. Useless to anyone but me. A video camera containing videos of Australia, pet rats, my boy (worse still, his christening). Physical items that can be replaced but it’s what’s inside that can’t.
I shadowed the scenes of crime officer as she forensically examined the property. Fascinating subject, despite the horrible thing that has happened to us, I learnt a lot and she was kind enough to show me various examples of prints, sadly the only ones found were my partners as they were wearing gloves. We cleaned up after everyone else went home and things started sinking in.
The aftermath is the worst thing as I’ve been left with the fear that they may come back. All the “what-ifs” going through my mind. What if they come back while I’m by myself with Mackenzie? What if they come back while we are out again? I’m scared to be here and I’m scared to go out. I watch people walk past, paranoid that it could’ve been them that did this to us. Things made worse by the PCSO that came round for a chat and made out like it was our fault that this happened, that now we have been targeted it could happen again. I’m now so scared that I just want to move away from here but we could never afford it as we have no extra income. I don’t get any help from the government as my partner works even though 100% of his money is tied up in other things. All they look at is incoming, not outgoings. This country sucks as it helps illegal immigrants and lazy people who cant be bothered to get a job but refuse to help those who work hard but need that extra help to keep their heads above water. I can’t afford to go back to work as there is no one to look after Mackenzie and we can’t afford child care as we can’t get tax credits. All I can say is fcuk you David Cameron.
This year has really had its ups and downs. January I was diagnosed with an incurable, degenerative condition (down), February I was made redundant (down), July Mackenzie was born (up), November we got engaged (up), December we get burgled (down). Now, if things come in threes can we have another up to balance out the equation? I dont know if I can take anything else bad happening to us…