Blog Archives

Regrets, I have a few…

…but then again, too few to mention.
Ol’ Blue Eyes was right but my regrets are too many to mention.

Hi to my lovely followers and a big warm welcome to the newbies that have just joined our family,
I’m taking advantage of Mackenzie’s nap time to have a break (no Kit Kat) with my cheap can of Morrisons brand of Red Bull substitute (it’s disgusting but when you’re on a very tight budget needs must and all that). He’s teething like mad at the moment, I’ve lost count how many he’s got now! Last count was 7 teeth within three weeks. That’s my boy! He’s doing so well, I just wish I could get over this agoraphobia so I can take him out during the day and show him off to everyone. Thankfully his daddy finishes when it’s still daylight so can take him to see his Nanny and Grandad, and to see his Granny (my Mum). Just wish that his other Nanny and Grandad lived closer than Yorkshire as I really miss my Dad and Step-Mum. Times like this I need a much needed hug from Jean.

Back to these regrets then. Today is the day of my Auntie Annette’s operation. Some of you may know she was diagnosed with having cervical cancer a couple of weeks ago and I received my letter from her two days ago. I finally plucked up the courage to open it yesterday and inside was her phone number wishing me to call her before her operation today. I was such a coward and couldn’t do it. I really wanted to and kept plucking up the courage to do so, but by the time I finally got there, it was too late in the evening to do so. All I had to do was call her to wish her luck. Why couldn’t I do that? Because I haven’t spoken to her for so many years I guess I was scared that I wouldn’t know what to say to her. So now I’m sat here full of regret wishing I had made that call if only to hear her voice again. I broke down in tears last night and told Daniel that I’m so scared now that if something goes wrong with the operation or if the cancer has spread, that I may have missed my chance to get back in contact with my Auntie again. I’ll be devastated if that happened and I hope it doesn’t. Not just for my sake but I was really hoping Mackenzie would get chance to meet her. All I can say is, “good luck Annette and I really hope things go well. I love you and have missed you all these years, and I promise when you get through this, I will be there to see you. See you soon xxxx”

I do have many more regrets but a lot of them I can’t list on here in the fear of causing amnesty between Daniel and I as some of them involve major life changing decisions without him (and before I met him again).

Until we blog again, this is me signing off as I’m feeling really down about my aunt at the moment and need to go off and have a good old cry. Thanks for listening and see you soon!
Take care,
LH x

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