Afterthought

With everything going on in my life at the moment, the only thing that keeps me going and stops me from giving up and ending it all, is Mackenzie. I often think he will be better off if I wasn’t in his life and he would grow up with a better chance if he was living with his Nanny and Granddad in Yorkshire, but that wouldn’t be fair on the rest of his family. I don’t wish to deprive him of his daddy and I know Daniel would take care of him emotionally, but he wouldn’t be able to provide for him financially because he’s already providing for his other children in that way and poor Mackenzie is the one who will suffer because of it. He’s missing out on things as it is and I have to now rely on my parents to buy things like nappies and food for him. And they’re not exactly made of money themselves. I just wish he would realise what this is doing to, not just our relationship, but to Mackenzie as well. He is the one that is going to miss out and I only want to do what is best for him at the end of the day. Daniel needs to wake up and realise that he will lose us both if he doesn’t get this sorted, and fast because I don’t know how much more of this life I can take.

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